Oftentimes, we have voices in our head that limit or derail us from moving forward. These old programs often play unconsciously and we may not even be aware of them running, and of how they impact our feeling, thinking and actions.
As coaches, it’s easy for us to spot these ‘voices’ or ‘programs’ in our clients, but it’s hard to figure it out for ourselves!
Some of the sneakiest and most dangerous voices that run are: ‘you must not make mistakes’ – ‘if you do something, you’d better do it perfectly or not at all’ – ‘if you can’t do it well, then don’t do it’.
These voices appear to have some benefit but in reality hold us back from learning new skills, or taking up new challenges. Growth means uncertainty and going through a learning curve during which we are low on knowledge and expertise level. So, heeding these voices means that we never want to do things that lead to growth – because we can’t start from a baseline of perfection, expertise or certainty.
Making mistakes is part of the learning process and being human. We can never predict success with any guarantee. Commitment means that when (not if) we stumble or get off track, we pick ourselves up, find our bearings and carry on in the direction set by our values compass.
On this journey, anxiety, uncertainty and self-doubt are our co-passengers. We travel with them – but they are NOT in the driver’s seat. They don’t set the direction nor do they control the start switch. We are in control of both the direction and the start switch. Get on with the journey – despite the noise created by the co-travellers – they will quieten down eventually.
As you work with your clients – think about the voices or programs that limit you! Working with a coach supervisor in your own supervision can help you understand how these voices limit you and can help you move forward despite them. Please feel free to connect and we can have a talk on how.
Check out details of our ICF accredited 125 hour ACTP Executive Coach training program being held in October and December in Bangalore, on this website’s ACTP/ACSTH page. Why not use this as an opportunity to visit India / Bangalore?
Reference: The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living by Dr Russ Harris